Everything is well. Save-a-lot is still boring as hell but theres not much i can do about that now is there. So i learn to deal with it. And the count down has begun. School is almost over. There is only 37 days til France. wow. Where did the time go? I dont know where i've been. it seems everyone else is on the same page and im just floating around. Ill catch up sometime. But lifes okay. Ya, for the first time, life's okay.

Yearbook. blah. I have nothing to do, but right in this. Im looking for a camera at this moment. I want one to take to France. Yay. Im also searching for a new computer. My mother gave me a 1,000 dollars to buy a new one. I need one that can actually support the Sims 2. Ha! as lame as that sounds. But I suppose my life is lame enough. Yay New Computer, New Camera, france, friends, tennis.......awww

Work is slowly driving me insane. I feel like Im there every waking minute. Wow, I complain alot. But i suppose there is nothing else to do on here. Im supposed to go to first practice for tennis which excites me because its the practice to which all the varsity team is in. But they split up me and every one of my friends. I no longer get to see my partner kellie or Ash or Cass. :( I will miss them all. We had so much fun on the first day of practice I was all to ready for the laughter we would have the rest of the year. and Joanie seems more grouchy this year. She was upset with the fact that I have to work and cant come to practice. Well, Im not quiting my job until I know for sure that i have a spot on the team. Decisions Decisions. Im drained and undecided. This is god awful.

I only drink coffee at midnight
When the moment is not right
My timing is quite, unusual

Well I want to live my life
Then I think about my life
I pull my hair back, as I scream
"I don't really wanna live this life"

I work tonight. I work every night. Im really getting sick of it. I want to play tennis, but hows this gonna work?? I miss tennis and hanging out with all the sophomore girls that play it. Last year we had the best time.
My grades are slipping. As much as I hate to admit it, they have gone down. I dont have a B yet but im sure one is soon to come. Im sure Ill be grounded as well.
Prom is coming. Im hoping all works out as planned. It may not. He doesn;t really seemed interested in going. I MISS YOU................................................................

I think its safe to say that I'm over it. I realized that i shouldn't worry about it. Things will fall into place. And if it doesn't happen the way I hope, so be it. I don't know what is bringing on this burst of positivity, but I wish it would have came about three weeks when i really could have used it. Oh well I feel better now.

I thought the pain would never end. But I found distractions from my usual train of thought and it helped. My day in Indy yesterday made my heart better. Its a lovely town and now I have the satifaction of at least having some idea as to where I would like to go to college. But I couldnt stay forever and I found myself not wanting to come back to Clinton Indiana. Home Of Nothing.When I layed my eyes on our town i decided that this is not where I would live for the rest of my life.
"I have no idea whats been goin on lately, I just wish you'd come over and explain things."
Its hard enough knowing that you never will, but do you really have to do this?

NIN was brillant.
Though the trip started out bad with Josh suffering from a hardcore cheese burn it turned out alright. He survived. Damn you P&T.
We met up with Austin and Sarah at the Hillsdale turn off. They were supposed to follow us but we ended up following them due to our lack of directions. Or good directions. But we made it, an hour early in fact.
The wait in line was beyond hilarious. With constant Chuck Norris comments how could you not have a good time. haha We did finally make it in after being told a hundred different places to enter. I had planned on buying a shirt but considering the one I wanted was $40, i decided against it. I could find something better to do with my money.
The overall concert was grand. The opening band wasn't too my liking but for my sake they only played three or four songs. NIN played many old songs which excited me. After the concert we went back to our favorite gas station for some snacks and definetly something to drink. And then we began our drive back to Clinton,IN.

No matter what I say, I know things wont change.I can tell you've made up your mind and theres nothing that'll stop you now. So i suppose i will blog my heart out and dedicate them all to you, and hope of some return, but I dont expect any. Is it pointless then? I tried I really did. I suppose my biggest weakness became my greatest enemy, and now nothing is the same or even close to normal. Im sorry for your lose. I wish there was something I could do, but its to late now.

Put your faith in me, I wont let you down, I promise.
Place your hand in mine. Together, we could make it through, but right now its all up to you. You have the power, the control, either say goodbye or could we give it one more try? I look at a picture of you on my wall. Sadly, I feel its all I have left of you. In the picture, your smiling. Its a smile that doesn;t appear to often anymore. Its a smile I wish I could see more often.